Nyssa & Tegan 1: The Secret Journal
by Tim66
Summary: Seriously injured while collecting samples, Nyssa receives a visitation from an old friend, and a hidden secret is revealed.


DISCLAIMER. All Doctor Who characters belong to whomever created them. Im just borrowing them.

AUTHORS NOTE. The events of this story take place between the televised episodes Time-Flight and Arc Of Infinity.

_Nyssa of Traken, Database Journal. Entry No. 56. The Doctor and I are having a relaxing visit on Trillic, a colony world of a humanoid race called the Jughu. After our recent adventures, it's nice to have some down time for a change._

Nyssa finished recording the entry in her journal and looked around the luscious hotel room she had been given. The Jughu sure know how to treat guests. Nyssa thought to herself. Suddenly, there was a knocking and the Doctor entered from his adjacent room. "Hello Doctor." Nyssa said. "I hope no problems have cropped up."

"No, nothing like that." The Doctor replied. "I just came to inform you that the seminar is about to begin. Are you coming, Nyssa?"

"Actually, no." Nyssa replied. "I have a project of my own in mind. I hear that there is a fascinating variety of floral life on Narket, the northern continent of this planet. I think I'll go gather a few samples."

"Narket." The Doctor replied, nodding his head. "The Jughu decided to mostly leave that continent alone when they colonized this planet, just a few settlements here and there along the coasts. They wanted to preserve part of the natural wonders of this planet. I guess you will find some good samples there."

"I hope so." Nyssa said as she began to pack her knapsack. "If all goes well, I should be back by nightfall."

"Are you sure you want to do this alone, Nyssa?" The Doctor asked. "I could come with you."

"No, no, don ft worry about me, Doctor. I'll be fine."

"Well, if you insist." The Doctor said. "Good luck in finding your samples, Nyssa."

"Thank you, Doctor." Nyssa replied with a smile.

Soon Nyssa was in a skimmer, flying through the air towards Narket. Jughu technology was so advanced that all travel vehicles were voice controlled. All Nyssa had to do was tell the skimmer where to take her and the navigation computer handled the rest. _If only the TARDIS could operate so efficiently. We might actually arrive at our intended destinations a little more often_. Nyssa thought to herself. After about forty minutes in flight, the skimmer landed deep in the interior of Narket. After commanding the computer to shut down all systems until she returned, Nyssa left the skimmer, her knapsack on her back and carrying a sample case in her hand.

Two hours later, Nyssa was close to completing her work. She had found many good samples and needed just a few more. Spotting an interesting sample perched high on an outcropping of rocks, Nyssa decided to climb up and retrieve it. Slowly, she ascended the rocks, being extra careful where she set her feet. Soon she was within easy reach of the sample, which was located just over a steep cliff. Carefully, Nyssa lay down on the cliff and reached for the sample. She had almost gotten it, when part of the cliff Nyssa was laying on gave way. Before Nyssa could do anything to protect herself, she found herself falling. There was nothing to break her fall but the ground far below.

Meanwhile, back at the hotel, the Doctor was getting very worried about Nyssa. _It will be dark soon, and she still isn 't back_. He thought to himself. _I'll give her another hour or so, and if I hear nothing from her, I'll raise the alarm._

Nyssa slowly opened her eyes and immediately regretted it as pain seemed to flow through every part of her body. Slowly, she looked around and saw that she was in a cave, with an natural opening on the roof. Beyond that opening, Nyssa could see the cliff she had fallen from, far above. I must have fallen through that hole into this cave. Nyssa thought to herself as she tried to sit up. However, stabs of pain forced her back down again. Looking down her body, Nyssa could see that her right leg was twisted at a funny angle, obviously broken in several spots. Nyssa could also feel that one, or possibly both, of her ribs were broken. However, that was not the worst of it. _I think I'm bleeding inside. _she thought. _This is not a good prognosis. I need to get help. _ With that, Nyssa slowly reached for her knapsack, which had landed beside her, and pulled out the emergency communicator that the Doctor had given her before she left the hotel. It didn't take her long to realize that the communicator had been damaged in the fall and was useless. _Great!_ Nyssa thought in anger and tossed the dead communicator aside. She continued to rummage through the knapsack and saw that she had enough food and water to last her three days, if she rationed carefully. _Not that I'll last that long with the internal injuries I obviously have._ With that thought, Nyssa lay back and just stared at the sky through the opening. Of all the stupid things to happen! She thought. _After all I've been through, the Master, the Cybermen, this is how it ends. A stupid fall! I'd laugh, if it didn't hurt so much!_

At that time, the Doctor was using a vid screen, talking with the Colony Governor, a Jughu named Treen. "Governor Treen, I fm sorry to disturb you at this hour." The Doctor said.

"Not at all." Treen replied. "We are always happy to help our off world tourists. Tourism is a big part of the economy of this colony."

"Yes, of course." The Doctor said and then added. "It's my companion, Nyssa. She went to the continent of Narket hours ago and she still hasn't returned. I can't raise her on the communicator. I think something may have happened to her."

"Well that continent is untamed." Treen said, nodding his head. "Listen, it's almost dark now. If your friend hasn't turned up by dawn, I'll organize a searching party."

"Dawn!? Why can't we go now?" The Doctor asked.

"Getting the personnel and supplies will take time, Doctor." Treen replied. "I'm sorry, but dawn is the best I can do at this time."

"I understand." The Doctor said and cut the communication. _Maybe you can wait until dawn, but I can't_. He thought to himself. _Hang on, Nyssa, I'm coming!_

As night approached, Nyssa felt a great sense of lethargy descend upon her. She felt no fear of what lay ahead. _After all, what is death but another great mystery that many have been trying to solve since the universe began _. she thought. _ It looks like I'll be solving it soon enough for myself. _Nyssa paused her thoughts for a few seconds before continuing. _I really have only one regret, I am going to die alone, and no one, not the Doctor, not Tegan, will ever know what happened to me._ She closed her eyes. _I'm so tired I'll just sleep for a little while. That's all, just a little while_... Her thoughts trailed off as Nyssa began to drift away.

"Nyssa! Open you eyes! Now!" a familiar voice snapped.

"What!?" Nyssa mumbled and opened her eyes. Sitting on the ground beside her was none other then Adric. The fact that Adric had been dead for some time now didn't phase Nyssa at all. _I'm either hallucinating or I'm dead_. she thought. _Still that is no reason to be rude._ Nyssa considered and then said. "Hello, Adric. It's good to see you again. However, now is not a good time."

"There's no time for idle chatter right now." Adric replied. "It will be dark soon and you have to keep warm, Nyssa. You need to build a fire. There is some wood here you can use."

"Adric, I can barely move as it is, let alone gather wood." Nyssa replied.

"I know, but you have to do it anyway. Now move!" Adric snapped.

"Okay, okay!" Nyssa grumbled. She had forgotten just how irritating Adric could get at times. She gingerly reached out an arm to gather the wood, that lay nearby on her left side, into a pile. She grimaced in pain as one of her broken ribs rubbed against a lung. _If he wasn't dead and I wasn't so banged up, I would, as Tegan would phrase it, kick his butt clear back to E-Space! _ Nyssa thought as she finished making the pile of wood. Slowly, she reached into her knapsack and pulled out a small starter. She touched it to the wood and flicked it. With a whoosh, the wood began to burn and a fire lit the small cave. "There, I've made a fire." Nyssa said as she began to feel the warmth flow into her. "Can I sleep now?"

"No, you have to stay awake, Nyssa." Adric replied. "If you go to sleep, you might slip into shock. Also, you have to keep the fire going. Nights on this part of Trillic can get severely cold."

"How would you know that?" Nyssa asked. "You fve never been here before."

"Never mind. I just know." Adric stated. "You are going to stay awake until help comes. I'll make sure of that."

"Yeah, I guess you will." Nyssa said. "Adric, I know you and I didn'ft agree on a lot of things, but I have missed you. I hope you're not angry with us."

"Angry? What for?"

"Because we left you on that freighter to die, we didn't come back for you. Tegan wanted us to, but the Doctor said we couldn't change what had already happened." Nyssa said sadly.

"I know all that, Nyssa." Adric replied. "The freighter was supposed to go back in time and hit prehistoric Earth. After all, that is what caused the dinosaurs to be wiped out. It's part of Earth's history."

"Yes, but you didn't have to be on board." Nyssa added. "We could have tried to save you."

"Nyssa, you know the TARDIS." Adric said slowly. "What if you had tried to save me, but you timed the materialization wrong, and you showed up just seconds before the freighter hit Earth. Instead of just me dying, you, Tegan, and the Doctor would have died as well. I wouldn't want that on my conscience."

"Adric, we could have saved you! Doesn't that mean anything?"

"It does, Nyssa." Adric replied. "However, there is nothing we can do about it now. The past is the past, we have no right to change it. However, that is not why I've come."

"Then why are you here, Adric, aside from keeping me alive?" Nyssa asked. Adric didn't reply. "It's the journal. You've come about the journal." Nyssa said. Her mind did a slow dissolve back to that day on the TARDIS as she told Adric about finding the secret journal.

*****FLASHBACK*****

**THE TARDIS. TWO MONTHS EARLIER (RELATIVELY SPEAKING)**

Nyssa wandered the corridors, feeling a little bored, and missing Tegan. It had been almost a week now since Tegan had been accidentally left behind at Heathrow airport, at the end of their last adventure. The Doctor had insisted that Tegan was back where she was supposed to be, but Nyssa knew he missed her as well. To pass the time, the Doctor had busied himself with odd jobs around the TARDIS, leaving Nyssa to just find her own means of entertaining herself. We need another adventure. Nyssa thought. _I'm getting bored just sitting around doing nothing. _Nyssa didn't quite know how it happened, but her wandering took her to the door of Adric's deserted bedroom. No one had entered that room since Adric's death and Nyssa wondered what had compelled her to come here now. Very slowly, she pushed the door open and entered. The room looked pretty much the same since Nyssa had last been in here. The shelves and desk were full of notes and files of mathematical equations. Nyssa wandered about the room, pausing here and there to examine some of the shelves, remembering her lost friend. It was at one such shelf that Nyssa spotted a brown book that was hidden behind some of the files. _What's this ?_ she thought as she pulled the book out and examined it._ It looks like some kind of journal. I wonder what could be in it._ With the journal in her hands, Nyssa went over and sat on Adric's bed. She debated whether to look in the journal or not, wondering if she had the right to invade Adric's private thoughts. However, in the end, curiosity won out, and Nyssa opened the journal to the first page. Slowly, she began to read what Adric had written there.

_First Entry. This is so frustrating. Here I can calculate complex mathematical equations in my head in no time, yet when I want to tell Nyssa how I feel about her, I get tongue tied (a term the Earth people use). I want to tell her, but I can't. So I have decided to keep this journal and record my feelings here. It is my hope that by writing all this down, I can eventually work up the courage to tell Nyssa to her face that I love her._

Nyssa stopped reading, her mouth hanging open. _Adric loved me?_ she thought. _I don't believe it_! Yet the evidence was right in front of her. Slowly, she turned the page and read what was on the next one.

_Second Entry. Nyssa was a little sad today, having being forced to destroy the Terileptil android. I cheered her up as best as I could. I almost told her about my feelings right then and there, but I held back. I'fm just not ready to take that step yet._

The next couple of entries were basically observations Adric had made about Nyssa, her quirks, her habits. Nyssa found herself becoming a little flattered that Adric had thought so much of her. The fourth entry, however, was very different.

_Fourth Entry. I have decided to try my hand at writing a poem dedicated to Nyssa. I know she fll probably never see it, but I fll know it and keep it in my heart. Here goes._

_In some eyes, I am a mere boy._

_Yet I think of her, and my heart turns to joy._

_Dear Nyssa, I wish you could see._

_The happiness you bring to me._

_Right now, Nyssa, I still pine._

_I hope that someday, you'll be mine.[/i]_

_I know, it's pretty terrible, but I'm so new at this. Maybe I'll update it when I learn more about matters such as this._

"It's not terrible." Nyssa said to herself, her eyes misting up. "It's beautiful." Slowly, she turned to the next page.

_Fifth Entry. Today fate played a cruel trick on me. Suddenly I found myself face to face with not one Nyssa, but two! Who could have known that we'd end up in the one place and time where Nyssa had a twin!_

"Ann Talbot." Nyssa said to herself, thinking of her double who lived on Earth in the year 1925. She turned the page and forged ahead.

_Sixth Entry. I can't take it anymore, every time I try to approach Nyssa and tell her about my feelings, I still freeze up. Maybe it'ts better if I just leave. I am going to ask the Doctor to take me back home to E-Space._

Nyssa shuddered as she knew she was getting close to the incident that cost Adric his life. She remember his wanting to leave the TARDIS and return home to E-Space. She also remembered that the Doctor adamantly refused to do so. It had gotten pretty tense in the TARDIS after that for a short while, but Adric and the Doctor soon cooled down and things returned to normal, or so they seemed at the time. _ However, I never knew Adric really wanted to leave because of how he felt about me! I must keep reading[/i] _ Nyssa thought and turned the page again.

_Seventh Entry. Well my idea of asking the Doctor to take me home did not go as well as I had hoped. We got into a huge argument and both of us said bitter words to one another. So while the Doctor, Tegan, and Nyssa went out exploring a cave on 26th Century Earth, I stayed in the TARDIS and worked out the calculations that would take me home by myself. However, events have overtaken me and I find myself in the midst of another adventure. Apparently someone, or something, is trying to destroy 26th Century Earth. At least it allowed the Doctor and I to patch things up between us. I have also strengthened my resolve on my feelings for Nyssa. Once this latest adventure is over, I will approach her and state my love for her. We fll let the chips fall where they may. Maybe things between Nyssa and I will work out after all. Hopefully, my next entry here will be a happy one._

However, there were no further entries. _That was the last entry_. Nyssa thought sadly as she closed the journal. _Adric was going to tell me how he felt. Of course, he didn'ft know that he would not survive that adventure with the Cybermen. He died before he could tell me the truth, before he could tell me that he loved me. _ Slowly, Nyssa stood up and headed out of Adric fs room, taking the journal with her. _ I can't leave this journal in Adric's room, the Doctor might someday give that room to someone else. I can't risk anyone else finding this. This journal is private and I intend to keep it that way, I'll tell no one about it, no one at all_.

*****FLASHBACK ENDS*****

"I still have the journal, Adric." Nyssa said, finishing her story. "It's safely hidden away in my room. I still haven't said anything to the Doctor about it."

"Thank you." Adric said slowly.

"Adric, why didn'ft you say anything?" Nyssa asked as she gingerly propped herself up on her elbows, wincing at the jolt of pain it caused. "Why didn'ft you tell me that you were in love with me?"

"You read the journal, Nyssa." Adric replied. "I wanted to tell you, but every time I tried, my courage failed me. I was scared."

"Scared? Of what?"

"Of how you would react." Adric said slowly. "I was afraid you might laugh in my face, or something to that nature."

"To tell you the truth, Adric, I don'ft know how I would have reacted." Nyssa replied. "However, I can assure you that I never would have laughed. I'm not like that."

"I have told you about my life on Alzarius, Nyssa." Adric said. "I told you that I was a math genius, the top of my class. However, what I never mentioned was that around girls, I was completely hopeless. Every time I approached a girl I liked and tried to talk to her, it seemed my brain would just shut down and I would stand there like an idiot. That is one of the reasons I left the Starliner and wanted to join the Outlers, like my brother did. That way, I wouldn ft have to worry about facing those girls again. When the Doctor came along, I found an even better way out. I thought my love troubles were behind me for good."

"Then you met me." Nyssa said, nodding her head.

"Yes, but I took me a while to realize how I truly felt about you."

"When was that, if I may ask." Nyssa enquired.

"Right around that business with the Kinda and the Mara." Adric replied. "I was so worried about you when you fainted like that, I thought that you were really sick. Even when it was all over, and I knew that nothing was seriously wrong with you, the feeling didn ft quite go away. It took me a few more days to realize that the feelings I experienced were not worry, but rather... It was love, Nyssa. Right then was when I knew I was in love with you."

"I... I don't know what to say, Adric." Nyssa said as she slowly lay back down. "Even if you had told me the truth, I don't know how I would have reacted. I haven ft had much experience in these matters myself. Traken was a very formal society, there were strict protocols that everyone followed. Unmarried couples opening courting was frowned upon. Sometimes I envy how open some Earth societies are to these things." She remembered the stories Tegan had told her. In her high school days, Tegan had gone out with several boys to various engagements. That kind of activity would never have been allowed on Traken. Nyssa thought.

"I guess we would have been the blind leading the blind." Adric commented and grinned.

"Yes, we would have." Nyssa said. She began to laugh, but then winced as pain lanced through her body.

"Nyssa!" Adric said with concern in his voice.

"I'm okay." Nyssa quickly replied. She noticed that the fire was getting low and slowly put some more wood on it. Although I don't know how much longer I can hold out. she thought to herself.

Meanwhile, the Doctor was busy searching for Nyssa in a skimmer of his own. Upon his arrival in Narket, he had gone to one of the coastal settlements and managed to find volunteers to help him in the search. That way they could cover more ground. Suddenly, the scanner in front of the Doctor beeped. Ah, it's picked up Nyssa's skimmer. he thought. Soon, he had landed his skimmer next to Nyssa 's. _Well, I know she's around here somewhere._ The Doctor thought and activated the homing beacon he was carrying with him. _This way, the search parties will be able to quickly vector in on my location. Hopefully, we'll find Nyssa sooner rather than later._

Nyssa had closed her eyes and was starting to drift off again. "No you don't, Nyssa! Stay awake!" Adric commanded.

"Adric, I'm so tired!" Nyssa replied as she opened her eyes. "I don't have that much strength left."

"I know, Nyssa, but you have to hang on for just a little while longer."

"Adric, why are you doing this?" Nyssa asked. "I mean if I do die, we could be together. Isn't that what you've wanted all along?"

"It's not just about me anymore, Nyssa." Adric said. "What about the Doctor and Tegan? How do you think they'd feel if they lost you? Losing me was bad enough for them, they shouldn't have to go through the trauma of losing a dear friend yet again."

"Tegan's gone. She's back on Earth." Nyssa pointed out.

"For now." Adric replied and then continued. "However, there is so much more at stake as well. Thousands, if not millions, of lives could be changed for the better because of your actions, Nyssa."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't say anymore, Nyssa." Adric said, shaking his head. "You'll just have to trust me on this. However, none of that will happen if you die here. So you have to hang on!"

Using night vision goggles, the Doctor scanned the horizon, looking for any trace of Nyssa. Suddenly, he saw what appeared to be smoke rising from a group of rocks, about a mile away. _Ah! This looks promising._ The Doctor thought as he started towards the rocks.

"I have to go now, Nyssa." Adric said. "However, I do have one favour to ask of you, if you don't mind."

"What is it?" Nyssa asked.

"Could I... Could I kiss you?"

"Can you really do that?" Nyssa asked. "What with you being... Well, the way you are now?"

"I don't know." Adric replied. "However I would like to try. It would mean a lot to me."

"Well, okay." Nyssa said slowly. Adric gently lowered himself and soon their lips met. Nyssa felt something pass through her, like a small electric jolt. "That felt... Different." she said once the kiss had ended.

"Remember me, Nyssa." Adric said as he stood up. As Nyssa looked on, Adric slowly faded away into the shadows.

"Good-bye." Nyssa whispered. Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching her. "Who's there?" she asked.

"Nyssa! Thank goodness I've found you!" The Doctor said as he entered the cave and bent down to examine her.

"It's bad, Doctor." Nyssa replied. "I've broken quite a few bones and I think I'fm bleeding inside."

"Don't worry, Nyssa." The Doctor said. "Help will be here soon." As he spoke, the two of them heard the sounds of approaching skimmers. "That will be the rescue party now." The Doctor said and gently placed a hand on Nyssa's shoulder.

Two days later, the Doctor was visiting Nyssa in a Jughu hospital. Due to the advanced nature of Jughu medical science, all of Nyssa's broken bones had been mended and her internal injuries had been treated. "It's very fortunate that I found you when I did, Nyssa." The Doctor was saying. "Aside from all those broken bones, your spleen had been badly ruptured. The internal bleeding was very severe."

"I know." Nyssa replied. "I could tell."

"Still I'm glad you managed to hold out, Nyssa." The Doctor said. "It must have been hard for you, being trapped and alone like that."

"I was not alone, Doctor." Nyssa said and proceeded to tell the Doctor of Adric's visitation (of course, Nyssa left out the part about the journal, that secret was her and Adric's alone). "I've been going over it in my mind, Doctor, trying to figure it out. Did I hallucinate the whole thing? If I did, how could it have been so vivid, so real? Could Adric have really come back from... From wherever he is now?"

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth." The Doctor muttered.

"What?"

"Just a line from my favourite Earth writer, William Shakespeare." The Doctor replied. "It was his way of saying that there are things we may never understand. This sounds like one of them, perhaps we should leave it at that."

"Perhaps." Nyssa said, nodding her head in agreement.

"So, I hear that they will be releasing you in about twenty-four hours." The Doctor said. "I guess then we'fll head back to the TARDIS. It fs time to move on. Until then, you get some more rest."

"Okay, Doctor." Nyssa replied and slowly closed her eyes.

_Nyssa of Traken, Database Journal. Entry No. 57. I guess I'll never really know if what I experienced on Trillic was real or not. Was it really Adric? Was it just a hallucination I had? So many questions, so few answers. Will we see Tegan again? What did Adric mean when he said that I would make a difference for thousands of lives, that they would be changed for the better? I guess only time will tell if that will truly happen._

**THE END**


End file.
